Recent Stories
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College Republicans Baffled That People They Just Insulted Don’t Want To Spend Time Debating Them
AMERICAN UNIVERSITY – After multiple political organizations refused their invitation for a debate, the American University College Republicans (AUCRs) publicly expressed disappointment that the AU College Democrats, Bipartisan Club, and Young Democratic Socialists of America, who they referred to as “stupid dum dum doofuses, were unwilling to join them in a civilized dialogue. “It greatly…
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Increased Professor’s Union Involvement Sparks New Day For On-Campus Activism
Around a year and a half after her arrest, graduate student Elaf Hasan and the coalition of students and faculty supporting her cause are still fighting to be heard by the administration. American University has long boasted of its decades-long history of passionate student activism on social and political issues, ranging from the Vietnam War…
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Taylor Swift Releases New Songs On Civilian Population
UNITED NATIONS – An emergency session of the United Nations was called on Friday after Taylor Swift was found to have dropped four songs on a primarily civilian area. While casualty numbers are still coming in, preliminary reports suggest that the release eradicated the city of Cleveland, Ohio, as well as all of its residents,…
